I wish I understood the secret to good communication. It does not matter whether it is verbal communication, silent communication, or through someone’s body language. In marriage it is vital. Without good communication you basically have nothing. You basically have a lifeless marriage. The only way a marriage will survive is through good communication. When you are grieving for the loss of your daughter you find out just how hard it can become to communicate between a husband and wife when … [Read more...]
Archives for 2008
Mari’s Spirit
I sit here looking at Mari’s picture. I see her school picture from last October. It has only been a little over a year since her last fall school picture. I still have most of our pictures that had been up on the wall in our other house still in boxes from the move but her school picture that was taken on the Wednesday before Easter this past year is in there too. Just think, right now it is like she is still growing up. They are recent. They still seem new. Yet think about how it will be in 5 … [Read more...]
My Thoughts
Recently I was approached and asked if I would like to put my feelings and thoughts about Mari into words here on this blog. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Mari's mother and I met over 2 yrs ago and created an instant bond because my son Brian (who is 9 now) has autism also. So as our friendship grew we would rely on each other for support by comparing our experiences no matter what time of day or night regardless of the different time zones. You see I live here in … [Read more...]
Loneliness, how it must feel
The loneliness I feel is like nothing else I have ever experience in my life. It does not matter what I do or who I talk to it is always there. There are times when I can keep myself busy enough not to have to think about the true loneliness I feel but it always comes back. I sit here in my house all alone. I have my puppy sitting on my lap because he does not like to be alone. I have my kitten at my feet because he does not like to be alone. I am glad I have them because they at least keep … [Read more...]
Keith’s Retirement
I posted the other day what I would like to call a film script. Typically when you think of a film script you think of a movie on the big screen or a made for TV movie. That is not what this is. What I mean by a film script is something that give you purpose, something that motivates you to do something important in your own live, I call it my "why". I made this film script of Keith's retirement from the Army. As you will read, this was written a couple of years ago. This was the dream that I … [Read more...]
Friendship at its best
I have a dear friend that I used to work with that I had not talked to in several months who recently just find out about what happened with Mari. I have truly missed talking to her. We both have our own lives and we had both become so busy with our own lives that we didn’t talk like we used to. I sent her an email the other day telling her among many others that I know that I had created this website in dedication to Mari. When she found out she decided to call me right away but you could … [Read more...]
Mari’s World – Can You Just Imagine
Today is a day without our baby girl. It seems like just yesterday that she went to be in heaven. It seem like I just said good bye. I remember that last day with longing before she went to the doctor. I felt so inconvenienced when the school called to tell me that she had a diarrhea. I felt they were making a big deal out of nothing. Who would have ever thought that what seemed like a day of inconvenience at the time would be a day I would take back in a heartbeat. Who would ever have thought … [Read more...]
Memories…
The Memories, they run so deep. They are so dear. What would we do in this life if we didn’t have the memories of those that we loved and then lost. I think we would be lost. There would be this black hole that would just suck us in. But then again, if we didn’t have memories, there would nothing to be missed. We would never understand or know what we were missing. The memories we have are so bitter sweet. We know that without the memories it might be easier. We know without the memories we … [Read more...]
Mommy’s Dream
I once had a dream I had written down about Mari, my beloved little angel. I wrote this as a movie clip of what I envision Mari's Wedding Day could one day be like. No, she was not like a typical child and this dream probably would never have come true but I knew that one day the home business I had would be able to help me at least give Mari all the best care and education I could. We all know that Mari's time was cut extremely short but here is the dream I had for my little angel... We are … [Read more...]
I Will Always Remember Mari…
I will always remember Mari’s method of transportation… running. I will always remember Mari’s laughter, trust, and innocence. I will always remember Mari’s favorite foods. In the context of the 23d Psalm, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,” I picture death saying: Who is that running through my valley? She is supposed to walk! And why is she laughing? She is supposed to be in fear!! What magic marker? Where did she get a magic … [Read more...]
