Today is a day without our baby girl. It seems like just yesterday that she went to be in heaven. It seem like I just said good bye. I remember that last day with longing before she went to the doctor. I felt so inconvenienced when the school called to tell me that she had a diarrhea. I felt they were making a big deal out of nothing. Who would have ever thought that what seemed like a day of inconvenience at the time would be a day I would take back in a heartbeat. Who would ever have thought … [Read more...]
Archives for October 2008
Memories…
The Memories, they run so deep. They are so dear. What would we do in this life if we didn’t have the memories of those that we loved and then lost. I think we would be lost. There would be this black hole that would just suck us in. But then again, if we didn’t have memories, there would nothing to be missed. We would never understand or know what we were missing. The memories we have are so bitter sweet. We know that without the memories it might be easier. We know without the memories we … [Read more...]
Mommy’s Dream
I once had a dream I had written down about Mari, my beloved little angel. I wrote this as a movie clip of what I envision Mari's Wedding Day could one day be like. No, she was not like a typical child and this dream probably would never have come true but I knew that one day the home business I had would be able to help me at least give Mari all the best care and education I could. We all know that Mari's time was cut extremely short but here is the dream I had for my little angel... We are … [Read more...]
I Will Always Remember Mari…
I will always remember Mari’s method of transportation… running. I will always remember Mari’s laughter, trust, and innocence. I will always remember Mari’s favorite foods. In the context of the 23d Psalm, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,” I picture death saying: Who is that running through my valley? She is supposed to walk! And why is she laughing? She is supposed to be in fear!! What magic marker? Where did she get a magic … [Read more...]
What does the word Mariana mean?
M is for the Most loved little girl you could meet. M is for Mischievous as she climbs out the window to go dancing in the street or to climb on the roof to dance her little heart out. M is for Meaningful in showing us what life is really supposed to be all about. M is for Magical for that sparkle she seemed to always have in her eyes. M is for Ming Ming, a character from one her favorite shows the Wonder Pets. M is for Map from Dora the Explorer as you can hear her singing, “I’m the Map, … [Read more...]
Time…
Why do people always seem to say that “time heals all wounds”. I think those people have never been through a real tragedy in their own lives. No matter how you look at it, time has always been here. Whether it is in our past, our present, or our future, time is always involved. Time has always been there through everything we have done or been through in our lives. Time is there in every moment we live each day. And time will continue it’s never ending cycle for the rest of our lives. Let … [Read more...]
Tomorrow…
Will tomorrow ever come? It feels as though it is far off in the distance. If tomorrow were to come there might be peace that could come to my heart. But tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow is only in my dreams. Tomorrow has sunshine. Tomorrow has the sun shining brightly and the Angel looking down on me. Tomorrow seems like a mystical creature of another world. The reality is if tomorrow were here I would not feel this ache in the bottom of my stomach. If tomorrow were here I would not feel this … [Read more...]
We Miss Her So Much…
The loss of a child, how deep it must go. Are there really words to describe the utter despair one feels. It is as if our entire world has crumbled yet we are still supposed to go on living our day to day lives as if everything is the same. But it is not. Nothing will ever be the same. How are we supposed to face each day without our beloved little one that we have taken care of since the day he or she was born. Everyone tells us to just take it moment by moment or one day at a time and yet that … [Read more...]
