Keith leaves on another business trip tomorrow. He will be back on Friday. It’s not too bad. He will leave again a week after he gets back on another one for another week. He seems to usually go for about 2 weeks every month to different places all over the country. I think he likes the scenery but is getting tired of the traveling. It’s hard to believe he turned 40 today. For almost half of our lives we have been together. When you really start to think about it that is a very long … [Read more...]
Super Bowl Sunday
I sit here watching the Super Bowl where the Steelers and Packers are playing each other. Keith and I are at a friend’s house just enjoying each other’s company. It’s nice instead of just being at home. I sit here thinking about how this little pink journal I bring with me almost everywhere has become quite a companion for me. I am able to write down my thoughts that might otherwise be lost forever. It’s nice to know I have this. Some people think this is my personal diary. I tell … [Read more...]
Keith’s 40th
Today is Keith’s 40th birthday. He starts a new generation today. The last generation has had some of the biggest bumps and bruises he’s had in his life. Those bumps and bruises have slowly been healing but they will never go away. We both continue to live our lives on a path neither one could have expected or wanted yet here we both are anyway. I like to tell people, “It is what it is.” What I mean by this is can I do anything about the path that has been laid before me? No I can’t. … [Read more...]
Winter
Winter has arrived bringing its fury; It’s cold, it’s wet the snow is our blanket Winter is so dreary, it brings about sadness; The sadness no one wants yet it comes any way Winter can be and almost always is depressing; It’s hard to get through when there are so many bleak days ahead Winter seems like it will never end; The days merge one into another Yet one day, the single piece of grass pops through; The green against the white is quite a sight to behold Spring … [Read more...]
Grateful for the little things in life
It seems that sitting in church, like I am now, seems to be a place where I feel I can open up so freely and easily. I am so grateful and excited to be going back to church and finding one that Keith and I feel at home with. I know that it is God who has been nudging our hearts to find a new church home. It just has been hard grieving as much as we have and having anger issues. But it feels good to be around fellow believers as we are now. I think now I am going to seek out another woman … [Read more...]
Rules aren’t meant to be followed right?!?!
I just love it when people completely disregard the rules. NOT! Keith and I live here in Kentucky. He is stationed at Fort Knox. It is pretty chilly outside right now with our highs around 20 to 30 degrees and the wind chills even colder. You’ve got to love it when things are below freezing (not really lol). Well, most of you know I work at Walmart by now. Many of you may not know, however, that I have pretty bad asthma and unfortunately for me, my lungs happen to be super sensitive … [Read more...]
Seeing Mari again
I want to share a passage of the Bible that was recently shown to me: 2 Samuel 12:15-23 15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth[a] on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. … [Read more...]
Writing through tragedy
Recently things have been good. I have not been overly sad. I mean, I miss Mari but I am doing good. I sit here in church again. I am glad we have started going to church on a regular basis. It is important for the two of us and our marriage. My hope is it only makes us stronger and helps us to get through the loss of Mari. I know through God anything can happen. I know some people might say, “How could you believe in a God who would do this?” My response is God knows more than I … [Read more...]
Find a new church home
Well, yesterday was a good day. I had the day off so I spent most of the day typing the entries I write in my pink journal here at work. It felt good to finally get them typed up and posted on Mari’s website. Now that her b-day has come and gone, it is easier again. I am grateful for this. We went to try out a new church on Sunday. We have not gone to church since we moved here at the end of April last year. I know I started to feel a tug to start looking in the past couple of months … [Read more...]
Singing…
January 2 I sit here in church service. Right away they start by singing. The tears start to well up and I have to leave. I still have a hard time just being able to sing in church. It is so hard for me. Somehow it just makes me miss Mari all the more. She would always love the singing portion of church service. She would sing in her own special way. She would sometimes flap her arms in excitement. She truly loved the singing. I think I just truly miss that with her not here … [Read more...]