It seems that I don’t write like I used to. I can honestly say that I am really starting to miss it.
The kids have been with us for almost 7 months now and we are finally into a good routine. There are some thing we are still working the kinks out with but for the most part it is really going good. So much so I have started thinking about getting back to the book. I hate the fact I had to put it on hold but I guess life has its own agenda and it did not include what I wanted (darn it anyway).
I was sitting at work yesterday thinking about Mari’s book and I think I finally came up with the perfect title. One that is very fitting and will still allow me to use her eyes in the cover.
“Seeing the Beauty Within”
For me this has so many meanings. Seeing the beauty within autism. Seeing the beauty within tragedy. See the beauty within life. Seeing the beauty within Mari. Seeing the beauty within myself. Simply put seeing the beauty no matter the circumstances as this is what ultimately gets you through at the end of the day. I feel like this title is perfect.
I sit here tonight lying in my bed with my netbook on my lap. My little Jack Russel lying beside me sleeping and down for the night. The kids each in their room out cold until tomorrow morning. It is peaceful and just nice to be home.
Next month and February 18 Keith and I will be married for 18 years. It is hard to believe that it has been 18 years already. Almost half my life has been married to the best man in my life. I feel so blessed to know that God put him in my life all those years ago and we are where we are today. I could not imagine that everything we have been through these past 18 years having done it with anyone else.
I wrote that above last night before going to bed. It feels good to write again.
Today I basically spent the day watching season 4 of “Being Erica”. I had to watch it on YouTube as it seems it is not available to watch anywhere else. It was good though as I have seen the first three seasons and wanted to know how everything happens in this, from what I understand, last season. It would feel like a cliffhanger if I couldn’t have watched this season.
I look at shows like Being Erica and think “what if that could really happen?” I mean wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have regrets and go back in time to correct those regrets. I know I have many regrets but then they are what they are. We can’t go back and change anything. What’s done is done. I look at what happened to Mari and have so many just related to what happened to her and what happened at the very end.
The thing to remember with regrets is to not dwell on them. If you do they can ultimately consume your life. I think regrets are just a part of life. Everyone has them. It is how you handle them that counts the most.