Kristena Tunstall

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Kristena Tunstall > My Writing > 365 Days > Day 63: Feast or Famine: Part 2

Posted on April 7, 2013 By Kristena Tunstall

Day 63: Feast or Famine: Part 2

Have you ever sat down to your computer or your binder paper and suddenly you have nothing to write. In fact, this goes on for several days. Nothing is coming to you. This is what we writers hate to have happen: Writer’s Block. Or the famine.

For whatever reason, all of our ideas have dried up like a lake that goes through a severe drought and dries all up. We want to write. We’ve scheduled our time out and yet here we sit.

This has happened with Mari’s website for me. If you take a look on the left hand side of the site where it show all the posts first broken down by year and then month. In the beginning you can see where my grief journey was. I was able to tell people about my journey as I went through it. Something you will start to notice is as time went by my posts would start to go further apart between postings. When I stop to think about it, at the time I didn’t want to bore people with the same things over and over again. I had to feel lead to write something and when I did I sat down, plucked away on my computer, and posted what I wrote.

You can always tell when we are approaching two of the most important dates in my life  and how they have forever changed me: her birthday (December) and the day she went to be with Jesus (July). I have no doubt that as her 5 year mark gets closer it will once again get hard for me. But that’s okay. That is what this site is all about. It is about my grief journey but it has also turned into something that I still dedicate to my daughter and that is my writing.

So here I am. Over two months of doing what I set out to do and that is to write about a phrase or word and post it here. Sometimes it’s about my writing and others it is more about Mari. While others, like today, is a nice combination of both.

So I’ve been able to keep the famine at bay for the time being as my writing feast is underway.

 

G is for giving

April 8, 2013 Mommy's Angel in Heaven 8
As you can't help giving your heart to Mari as she enters it for good. It never seemed to amaze me how captivating our daughter was. Here laughter could draw in almost anyone.  It was infectious.  I loved when she was sitting in her high chair eating and out of…
 

F is for Faith

April 6, 2013 Mommy's Angel in Heaven 8
Mari's cousin Faith was always the one to take care of Mari even though Faith was four years younger than her. Faith came into this world as a sweet beautiful little girl who grew into Mari's surrogate big sister even though she was younger. When we would come to visit…

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  1. Connie says

    April 7, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    What were her dreams and yours about. ? Not for what could’ve been but in the place where happy princess dreams go.

    • Mommy's Angel In Heaven says

      April 7, 2013 at 4:49 pm

      Hi Connie. To be honest, I have no idea if Mari even had any dreams. If she did, she had no way to communicate them due to how severe her autism was. Her communication ability was very limited as she only said things like “juice” or “juice please.” As for my dreams for her. I wish I could have been able to help my daughter to one day function in society like other people but my husband and I both know that each passing day her safety was becoming an issue. We were trying everything within our power to keep her safe but she was one little smart cookie. As they say, too smart for her own good. So we both know that it was only a matter of time that we were probably going to have to put her in some type of home to keep her safe which would have broken both of our hearts. My dreams for her died with her but other dreams have sprouted in their place. Dreams of writing and getting published. Dreams of keeping her dedication website going. Dreams of starting a scholarship foundation in her honor to give to those individuals who want to become teachers for children with autism. I still have my dreams, they just changed from before.

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