2020. Wow! Hard to believe we’re already twenty years into the new millennium. When I think back over the past twenty years, I’m amazed not at just what our country has gone through, but what I’ve personally gone through. Here in just under a month, Keith and I will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. Here’s a list of strikes against us to not succeed, or at least made things harder: The abuse in my childhood – all forms In and of itself, the abuse has been a primary culprit of … [Read more...]
Do You Have Shiny-Object Syndrome?
Awe... The time-elusive Shiny-Object Syndrome (squirrel)... In other words - PROCRASTINATION! How quickly can we become distracted by something "shiny" that diverts our attention from what we either should or need to be doing? For me, it some times feels, it's all the time. There are things I'm supposed to be doing but don't feel like it. Forcing myself can be so difficult at times. But why is that, especially if I know it's something very important? I just shake my head because I can't give … [Read more...]
Talking from the heart…
Today I sit here thinking about how life can turn out so differently than you could have expected. Keith and I went to church this morning like we have started to do on a more regular basis since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We decided to just try Sunday School since I haven't been able to handle going to church service at that point. That very first Sunday going to our brand new class I broke down and told everyone about Mari. It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving so you can imagine what … [Read more...]
Time Keeps on Treking
It seems as though time continues to trek on. Time is a never-ending cycle of both grief and happiness all rolled into one. A little over a year ago I lost the one thing most precious to me and that was my baby girl, Mariana. Mari is always thought about and missed. For anyone who was fortunate enough to meet her their lives were forever imprinted and changed to have known her. She had such a special spirit about her. She had an infectious laugh where sometimes she would just start laughing … [Read more...]
Approaching 11 months…
We are now approaching eleven months that Mari's been gone. June 16 will be exactly eleven months. Whether we want it to or not, time just continues to carry on. I was going through this site a little while ago and realized that I'd not posted anything new since Mother's day. It's been hard this last month and I know as the day approaches the one year mark it'll continue to get harder. Then I was reading the comment that someone wrote anonymously. What the person said was basically that I … [Read more...]
How am I supposed to live my life without her?
How am I supposed to live my life without her? How am I supposed to? I sit here in complete confusion as to how to do this. Nothing makes sense anymore. I don’t understand. I just simply don’t understand. Mari is gone and yet I'm still here. Mari is gone and yet I'm just supposed to move on with my life. But Mari is gone. There isn't an instruction manual on how to move on with your life once your one and only child is gone from it. I just don’t know how. I wish there was some tried and true … [Read more...]