You know, I can sit here all month long and seem to be just fine. Then the 15th comes and something just seems to be plain flat off. I can’t seem to put my finger on it but it’s just off. Then at some point during the day (or night) I realize the next day is the 16th.

Yesterday that happened to me again. The last two or three months I’ve been doing that. I can’t seem to figure out why I can’t focus and then I realize the 16th is the next day, which is now today. Mari has been gone exactly eighteen months or for a year and a half.

Then tomorrow will come and, if it’s like all the other 17th’s, I’ll be okay and back to focusing again.

I think I unconsciously try not to think about the 16th even though I know it’s coming, but ultimately doing this stops me from being able to concentrate on what’s coming.

I have officially put the 15th and 16th on my calendar until July to make sure this doesn’t happen again to where I feel blindsided. I figure, worst case scenario is, I don’t do anything two days out of the month. I don’t think that’s too bad.

Mommy loves you, Baby Girl, and she misses you very much.

Love, Mommy