I was walking on my treadmill this morning like I do almost on a daily basis as I try to strengthen my hip. I had been reading a book by Lynette Bonner when my mother-in-law called. She just called to chat. My cell phone sat on the treadmill in front of me.
I have the Fox News App on my iPhone. About an hour and ten minutes into talking to Mom and walking I get a news alert stating this: “BREAKING NEWS: Reports of Multiple Fatalities at Conn. Elementary School.” I told mom that there has been a school shooting. So I open my phone, went into the Fox News App and this is what it said as I also read it out loud Mom, “Multiple deaths reported in shooting at Connecticut elementary school.”
I continue to read the news alert and about halfway through the tears start to roll down my face and I get extremely choked up to the point I have to quit talking for a moment. Even as I type this right now tears are streaming down my face.
When it said the shooting was at an elementary school you figure children are involved but you don’t know how old the children are. Mom turns on the news and I hear it through her phone. After a few minutes I turn on Fox News Channel.
Then I hear that there were 18 innocent children shot and it is suspected that they are all kindergarteners. Think about five and six-year-old children have all had their lives cut short by a mad man.
The unfortunate reality is that now all the parents of the children who were lost today now have a long grief journey before them. The road I’ve been down on since July 16, 2008.
Just like 4th of July will forever be changed for me, Christmas will be forever changed for each one of them. The beautiful bright shining faces of their little ones was taken much earlier than anyone could have imagined.
And then I think of God and His all-encompassing plan. Our Father in heaven knows everyone one of those children. I truly feel everyone one of those children are now in heaven with Mari. Maybe Mari was waiting there to welcome each one to their eternal home. Mari special spirit and uplifting smile could bring a smile to anyone’s face.
I sit here typing this and listening to Fox News Channel in the background. The information keeps changing and no one really knows much about anything. The story seems to change every minutes that goes by. I just keep thinking of the moms and dads who will go home tonight not understanding how their lives have been forever changed. They probably will never fully understand it. I know I still don’t.
Yes, I’ve been able to look at the many blessing God has given or put into my life. He’s given me the gift of writing and we are now raising our niece and nephew. But that doesn’t mean I understand why Mari died when she did. All I have to lean on is my Faith in God and his knowledge of all things. I just have to trust He knows what He’s doing. My strength is in Him. He gave me the strength to keep living each and every day for my little girl.
People have said to me time and time again how strong they feel I am but I don’t see it. I’m not that strong. What makes me strong is God. I’d be a puddle without him.
Please pray for all these families that have been touched by this unthinkable tragedy. For the ones who’ve lost a child and also those who have been personally touch by this like the children who actually went to school with these children and their parents.